March 31, 2019

SCARRED – PART 2

Flashback

   Stephen winked across the bar that night towards Yolanda and I, then Yolanda couldn’t stop but rant about it the whole time we spent at Palms bar while waiting for a supposed client). “Imagine! you can’t even sit in a bar without them thinking you are a whore, what rubbish?” Yolanda kept talking, “Madam feminist, you should calm down, you look like an angry emoji right now, ” I said laughing. She gave a tight smile too.

Yolanda had been my friend since high school, she was my bunk mate in one of the many secondary schools I attended and we had lasted for a whole term which was record-breaking for me because she knew me well enough and we were good friends throughout my stay at a Catholic all-girls college. She had shown up in my life again when she came in for a meeting with her boss who wanted to partner with, la crème, the company I was working for.It had been ten years since we last saw but she filled the space so fast and moved in with me after a few months, she was desperately searching for a partner which I didn’t see necessary, as she was a

successful young woman with a booming career that didn’t really need a man. I tried to hook her up with many of my admirers whom I didn’t have any interest in but she kept refusing them for flimsy reasons, and that night had been a set up with my colleague at work. I had told her I needed to see a male client and asked if she wanted to come along and of course, the typical Yolanda didn’t disappoint. It was almost an hour and Femi was nowhere to be found and I was already on edge, no guy ever kept me waiting, I tried calling one of the waiters and caught him staring again, this time straight at Yolanda, I already knew I had to seize that moment for my dear friend.

I stood up and told Yolanda to give me a minute, the guy seemed very confident and as soon as I caught him staring at my breasts through the v-neckline velvet top I wore,  I immediately adjusted. He looked away quickly and nodded apologetically, I already had an impression of him.

“I caught you staring at her” I started,

“Oh!, you did?” he replied, feigning ignorance,

“Oh, tell me it was a mistake then”,

“I like her,” he said with a smile.

“Good,” I said ecstatically, my name is Tammy “I stretched out my hand for a shake. he grabbed it quickly and said in a rather flirty tone; “Tammy as in Tamilore, right? Anyways, mine is Steve as in Stephen, nice to meet you.” “Tammy as in Tammy” I replied sternly. “Let’s get you introduced to her,” I said as I marched on to the table I shared with Yolanda. It took them just that night and the next one to become official, so much for Yolanda’s cheap talks. She talked about him at every given opportunity and never stopped smiling to herself, I could only pity her since I knew how it would all end.

She moved in with him and thought she had found the love of her life.   A few months later, she got her 24-carat gold engagement ring. I just had to save her from the life of misery she had chosen, it took me just two visits to get Steve into bed and he kept on screaming about how he had always wanted me, it was a quick one and I took our pictures when he slept off and posted it to Yolanda’s office under an anonymous name. She screamed and shouted and cried, swearing on her life that she would fight me back and make me suffer for what I did, but I did no wrong, she didn’t understand but I did, I never told her that her man sent me flowers thrice in two weeks, begging me to be his. If only Yolanda knew…

They all avoided me like a plague, after Fisayo’s incident; everyone was happy she had eventually gotten a guy to call her own, Evans, the rich Igbo boy, he was everything she wanted in a man, the fact that he was rich especially. My obsession took only a few weeks to show as I drove to his apartment that night and made sure we made love, right on the couch in his extravagant sitting room, with Fisayo snoring in the master bedroom, our noise had woken her up and she passed out immediately she saw us, naked and wet with sweat.

I apologized to them and tried to stay close, promising it was an accident that would never happen again, but I never kept to my promise, I betrayed them again with John, Lauretta’s boyfriend, he had pestered me into bed with him and we kept up for about three nights before I mailed our sex videos to Lauretta’s email address, it broke her and she threatened to post my videos on social media, I tried to beg her not to but she insisted, then I told her and gave her proofs that her man had constantly begged me to be his girlfriend even with Lauretta expecting a ring from him.

After they had all left me, only Tonia stuck with me as she kept insisting she knew I had problems that needed to be solved, she always dragged me to church and prayed with me,  she became a sister to me but I never told her about my ugly past, instead I invented stories and painted a beautiful childhood to her. She hid her boyfriend, Seun from me for so many months and I thought I was already a better person until I accidentally met him in person in one of those nights I spent at Tonia’s. He was so great for Tonia and they were genuinely happy together, but the urge came again, and I knew I had to sleep with him to prove that all men were cheats, even the best one of them.

It happened, but I had to drug him since he did not seem so easy to capture. I sent Tonia the pictures on social media and she had stormed into my house the next morning on her way to work. She met me with an angry slap, one that turned me deaf for the first few minutes of her rant. “How dare you!” was all I heard as I regained my balance. I tried to feel bad about it but I could only feel satisfied, happy that I had proven a point. It had all flashed back, I felt the red rug soothing my feet all over again, with the musky scent, I held my neck and ran to the toilet, I emptied the content of my stomach right into the sink and the rice and chicken I ate the night before resurfaced, but more importantly, the memories of years ago had resurfaced, those ones that made me plead for death. I opened the tap and watched the food dance down the sink, they were all gone in a few seconds but unfortunately, the memories had nowhere to dance to.

It had been a beautiful morning until the incident ruined it all, and I just sat alone on the floor in my room, tracing the scars all over my body with my fingers, they were jagged and looked dry, but they were sores that failed to heal. As I traced the scars, images kept flashing through my mind and I tried to cry it all out but the tears didn’t come, they were long gone, they never visited, even at the time I needed them. After a few hours, I stood up and got dressed, I made up my mind to see my therapist again, maybe trying my luck with him could give me some peace, he had rejected me for too long.

On my way to Dr. Kel’s office, I remembered how I met him, Ebere’s mum had shown up at my house alone on a rainy Sunday morning, asking to talk to me about something, she said she felt I was possessed and even beyond sleeping with her daughter’s fiancé, she felt I was troubled and I needed to see a prophet, due to her long talks and persuasion, I had agreed to see a doctor which I eventually did after a few months of recurring nightmares. I had fruitlessly searched for a female or single male therapist all over google but I only found married ones, so I eventually settled for the young, charming and married Dr. Kelechi. I stopped visiting him when the nightmares stopped and hadn’t heard from him since then.

Ibukunoluwa
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Lover of art and creative written expression, optimist, chemist👑👑

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