November 3, 2019

Like Parents, Like Children

Growing up is a never ending journey, we keep growing till we die, as it’s famously said that anyone who isn’t growing is dying. We grow in knowledge, in wisdom, in new and different areas and keep learning more about ourselves as we do. We grow to have deep affection for someone else, this we couldn’t feel when we were infant. So in-short, intellectually, spiritually, mentally, socially and emotionally we experience growth, stagnancy or decline in one form or the other.

Genetically, facial resemblance is a trait children take from their  parents, at-times this might be expressed from birth or it could delay and express as the child grows. I’ve watched expecting parents playfully debate themselves about who the child would resemble, each giving reasons why the “he or she” should look like them. At times, the child turns out to take after the mother’s  facial properties completely or in contrast, the father’s. Other times the resemblance is shared, or a child might also look like one of them for a start and then grow up looking like the other.

The truth is that we inherit all our traits from our parents and growing up with them has also made it possible for them to imprint a lot on our personality. As we grow into adulthood, we become our own person, being a product of nurture and not only nature(genes), our environment and upbringing matters a lot. Sometimes we replicate things we’ve seen our parents do unconsciously, it comes naturally without us thinking about it – both the good and the bad traits.

Were you raised by hospitable parents? You possibly would grow to be hospitable.

You  were raised by godly people? You tend to grow up being godly.

Were you raised by angry people?  Well, that might be why you are furious yourself, you learnt it unconsciously.

Were you raised by liars?, You might grow to tell lies without hesitation. In contrast,  some might not pick up that habit of lying, possibly because it’s not in them.

While the choice of the people who raised you is not in your control and the habit you cultivated might not totally be your fault you are definitely responsible to bear all consequences that comes from such behavior – either good or bad.

An essential part of growing up is taking full responsibilities for our lives. As we grow, we begin to have exposures outside our immediate and extended family. For examples, we see how other people in your community behaves, knowing what is obtainable in, and acceptable by the society.

Learning what is right and acceptable, and what is wrong, we attain the “age of accountability”,  when we are held responsible for your decisions and actions, it’s a time to be responsible.

Interestingly, age is not the only determinant of being viewed a responsible adult in most societies. As no one would refer to you as a responsible adult if you still behave like a child. You might have lots of excuse to back yourself – like your upbringing or temperament but most times that won’t be enough to escape the consequences of your actions. Nevertheless you won’t be excused for refusing to grow up neither as there is certain level of responsibility expected of everyone as they age irrespective of your upbringing, this is a matter of social  responsibility. No one tends not to really cares about your background but what you have been able to become regardless. So this is coming as a clarion call, if you haven’t been able to see inwards and  decide on what to abide by, what to drop or improve on from your childhood, maybe this is for you.

It is time to be your own person. It is time to grow up!

Temitope
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Lover of books, animal scientist, fashion designer

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6 Comments

  • Hmmmm.
    This is deep and I can relate. Just like Gary Chapman said in his book “Things I wish I’d known before we got married”, -Like Father like son, Like mother like daughter is not a myth”. It’s a reality we all must wake up to and make necessary improvements.
    Thanks big sis, you’re wonderful laidat.

  • Well said, phenotype is a result of our genotype and environment. We learn things done around us consciously or unconsciously, but as we attain age of accountability, duty demands we take full responsibility of our lives by unlearning, learning and relearning. All we need is persistency and conscious effort in becoming a better person regardless of our background. More wisdom, dear

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