Inioluwa woke up to the sound of her alarm clock, it was 5:30 am, she was light-headed and covered in sweat. Saturday it was, which means her day off work. Even though the pay wasn’t good enough at her work place, she still likes her job.
She reached forth for her devotional materials deciding to read anywhere she opens at a glance. “oh that my head were waters, and mine eyes were fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night for the daughters of my people.” the verse read. Memories from the past rushed into her mind, breathing heavily with her eyelids hardly holding back tears, it’s been over ten minutes she had been starring at this verse. “ I thought I had overcome this”, she sobbed.
Segun, the Johnson’s twin and Inioluwa had been friends since elementary school, went to the same university and lived in the same neighborhood. Her life changed within few seconds from the time she opened the door for Segun and his friend, to when the verdict was read in the court.
We live in such a cruel world where menial punishments are given to core offenders that hails from a wealthy family; rich enough to pay and cover up for the scandal.
Ini felt fresh hatred flowing through her blood like wild fire, she grabbed her head set and tried to disrupt her feelings by the sound of the good gospel music.
Nothing sounded so good to the ears of the twenty- two years old lady as she listened to the music . Suddenly she stood up from her bed, as if she was stuck by a thousand electrons.
“ I am going to make a message out of my mess” she told her self as she stretched her hands to reached for her letter dairies.
“ I just need to read through and see where the message and the strength lies .” she told herself realizing she had never read through the box before and scared of the memories that might unfold again. She read five out of the letters one after the other. She finally picked the one, written almost two years ago with such disorientation and pain.
I don’t know where to start from, but the worst has happened to me.
On the 20th of August, 2015. My parents left Erioluwa, my baby sister at home to attend a sleepover program. Around 6:00 pm, Segun and his friends came visiting as usual. I was reluctant to open the door but I did. I offered drinks to them, then the twins offered to buy suya. The twins left me with the devil.
I went to the kitchen to warm the leftover meat pie from the day’s sales as my own contribution to the evening. Segun drugged my drinks before I returned into the living room. Thank God, I took only a little, so I remembered. I remember him tying me up with the television cord. I remember his filthy claws on my clothes and as he tore my underwear.
I remember his weight on my body as he crushed himself into me. I remember the disgusting smell of sweat oozing from him. I remember the pain, the ache I went through that night. I remember him raping me on my father’s couch.
As if that was not enough damage for a day, he took pictures of me and shared it to all who cared to look. I am doomed, my virginity is gone, sanity as vaporized, my naked defiled picture flies around the internet. I should have known he was the devil in a man flesh. I feel like death and shame has engulfed me. I just want to disappear or even die, but I am only twenty years old. How do I survive?.
Yours in pain,