August 21, 2019


Maybe we all need to be healed of something, sometimes our health is perfect but our hearts and emotions are not. Maybe age is not even the best judge of adulthood. We carry so much distrust and suspicion around not because we need to, but because we can’t help it, we have backlog of psychological unbalance from childhood that keeps dictating our personalities known or unknown to us.

Ask an adult who has been a victim of rape from a close relative during childhood, you would hear such speaking from the place of so much pain that you would almost feel it happened just an hour before, the hate, the distrust all still evident. To them every man is evil, which includes their own husbands (if they are able to get one). Most ruin all opportunities with good men just because of what one out of the billions of men on the planet did to them, others would never  trust  their female children with anyone, not even their husbands or siblings in the home. Many never speak up leaving the poor men wandering what they might have done wrong.

Ask a child raised in abusive marriage, such might never really be different from their parents if they make no conscious effort to be different, if they make no effort to heal up. They have seen their dads hit their mums and hate him for it initially, later they get harden and see it as a norm, and to them a lady who cannot be beaten up and manipulated is not a good one.

They sometimes even do worse than the parents. Female children born into such families many a times end up marrying someone just like their dad, they’ve seen their mum go through so much beating from their dad, it almost doesn’t look or sound absurd and strange to them anymore. After all, their mum would still lie to them that he loves them. As far as they are concerned, love beats and they are ready to be beaten to death.

Ask a child tagged as a “mistake”, he’ll tell you the pains from childhood. I never cease to wonder why some parents would tell their children that they weren’t planned for, some would even go as far as telling them that the abortion pills didn’t work and that the doctor said they might never live if they terminate the pregnancy and that’s why they are here. Do you have an idea of what that stamps on the mind of such a child?  He gets it that he is unwanted and not meant to be, he feels inferior to every other person. He’s psychology is faulted right from his childhood. Now you see why it gets so easy for young people to get depressed and commit suicide without much thoughts.

All of these transcend to the environment we live in, people angry with the slightest provocation, trusting no one but themselves, increased domestic crime rates. Think about the ripple effect it has in the environment, children being robbed of their innocence. It might be that the adult in us is okay but the little one in us still hurts.

This is not much of a peculiar situation. We can multiply examples of people who had traumatic childhoods and healed into adulthood and are channeling their adulthood into outstanding greatness. Maybe you might also need to be “healed into adulthood”, one step is to get vulnerable with yourself, you know yourself more than anyone else, you are solely responsible for your own emotional and psychological well being. You can write your own history, you can do way better than now, just heal.

You would do better. Cheers!

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Lover of books, animal scientist, fashion designer

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  • Great write up.

    This gives a psychological insight into why some people act the way they do.

    The major takeaway for me is to understand the position from which an individual communicates with me so I’ll give a feedback in an understanding manner. This shows empathy and in most times, is the first stage of healing.

  • Absolutely! “Empathy is most times the first stage of healing”. That sums it up well enough. Thanks so much for reading through and for that beautiful contribution.

  • Wow! This is so true. If only we can see beyond the touchy, aggressive and defensive reactions of people, we’ll realise they’re actually hurting soo much…
    This will in turn, help us relate better with such persons, and will make accessing them easy.
    Thanks once again for this write-up.

  • You are right and it is a wonderful piece. My question is what do you tell an adult that was hurt and needs healing. Can we say he/she should heal up into adulthood?

  • Nice piece. Healing to adulthood is the way forward. But if an adult is wounded what is the process of healing, then it is healing to what?

  • Thanks so much for reading through. Well, we can say that, but it’s not as simple as it sounds. It’s a gradual process, he or she needs to identify the source of the hurt, make conscious decision and effort to heal. Sometimes we might not be able to do it alone, we might need professional and or spiritual help or just people who do really care to make the process easier. And he definitely heal. I believe so

  • This is accurate, and very enlightening. Mostly, the society neglects the negative blood an adult acquires during childhood, and expect such a person to be emotionally balanced.
    I feel the importance of therapy needs to be emphasized. People should also learn to take a mile or two in other people’s shoes before judging.

    • I think so too. Therapy is good, it makes the whole process of healing a little easier. Thanks so much for contributing 😘😍

  • Wonderful write-up and very well articulated. So many imbalance everywhere and all we do is live with it. We all are product of our childhood, irrespective of how refined we think we garnered; the leopard spot really don’t get cleansed.
    Wonderful piece once again.

  • Educative write up, it is indeed full of lessons that we need to take in to comsideration as a whole.
    Looking forward to see many more from you, thank you very much.

  • I am extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with
    the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself?
    Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a great blog like
    this one these days.

    • Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m glad you find my writings of such good quality. I hope to do more.

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